Making Love

A friend of mine sent this; although, I slightly revised it (mainly replacing marriage w/relationship and spouse with partner). Although I did find it necessary to eliminate one statement just before the last sentence, "The program works for any relationship even if only one person in the relationship does it." I don't think one person can carry a relationship ... because I tried for nearly 10 years. Feel free to share your thoughts and opinions. I'm curious what my friends think about this.

**********************************

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love - when it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet." Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a while in a relationship, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your partner's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your relationship, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you "fell" in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you and your partner reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown. People blame the other for their unhappiness and look outside their relationship for fulfillment.

Extramarital/relational fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a while later. Because (read carefully) THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it, day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love;" because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to
make your relationship work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner) to succeed with your relationship.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your relationship stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable - you can "make" love.

Relationship Fitness a step-by-step system for making and maintaining love. And the program works for any relationship.

So what's your first step?