The Single Gal & The Pickel Jar

From the moment I sat in the sand by the monkey bars in fifth grade holding hands with James, through many school dances, senior prom, college dating, frat parties, engagement, marriage, divorce, and back to dating, the vicious circle continues of whether or not you really need or want a man in your life. As of late I've read many blogs discussing commitment phobic men, cheaters, break-ups, psycho-bitch chicks, and strategies for successful dating. I, like many other women, have given all of these topics a lot of thought, possibly too much.

Upon my return to the dating world after a decade with one man in my life I was amazed at how dating had evolved. Online dating was now more socially acceptable, if not safer and preferable to meeting men while out and about town. Group dating was nixed because people were too busy with their individual lives to actually make room for an entire group of six ;) and having a guy actually pick you up at the door was NOT even a consideration until a minimum of six to eight weeks of dating them and a serious analysis of how long you thought the guy would really be around. Was he "relationship" material? Was he safe enough to invite over to watch a movie? Do you like him enough to allow the neighbors to see yet another car in your driveway ... The questions go on and on ...

I've been in the "single again" category for 5 1/2 years now. During this time I've taken many dating respites to "find myself," get grounded, and then return to dating promising myself to do it all differently the next time around. Sadly not much changes.

Turn the page.

So my kids like pickles. Yeah pickles. About a month ago I bought one BIG jar of pickles.



I couldn't open the lid. I borrowed a neighbor's husband to try to open the jar, and even started considering dates that might be acceptable pickle jar opening material. The neighbor's husband couldn't open the jar. I briefly pondered what their sex life might be like considering this guy couldn't even open the BIG pickle jar.

Isn't strength one of the traits we consider during dating? I know physical strength isn't EVERYTHING, but certainly that's part of the initial attraction. Doesn't every woman kind of want a man who makes her feel safe? My mind begins to wander and for a moment I consider asking the wife beater across the street to open the pickle jar. Then a messy image of shattered glass and a pile of pickles crosses my mind and I decide to forgo the wife beater.

A couple days ago my father came over to my house and I asked him to open the pickle jar. He's always been my hero, a strong man, and enjoys helping me out from time to time so I figured this was a grand idea. He couldn't open the BIG pickle jar. We both laugh and just stare at this enormous jar of pickles I'd purchased. Before my grandfather passed away he had made an industrial strength jar opener which my mother has in her kitchen. My father directs me to bring the pickle jar over during my next visit so as to give that a try.

Yesterday I decide to pay them a visit. I jump in my car, put the pickle jar between my legs, and begin driving to their home. I get stopped at a red light next to a man in a big truck. He peers down at me with a strange and laughable expression on his face. I feel like jumping out of my car to see if he can open the pickle jar; but the light turns green and again I'm off to my parents' home.

The industrial strength jar opener actually works and the BIG pickle jar is FINALLY open! We're all very excited and briefly discuss the millions of dollars that could be made had we patented and sold the industrial strength jar opener. I even suggest the name "BIG ASS PICKLE JAR OPENER." We celebrate the opening of the BIG pickle jar with a glass of wine, and of course a pickle.

After my visit I have to drive home with the BIG pickle jar. Fate is against me and I hit every red light between their home and mine. I get more strange facial expressions and am puzzled at how many trucks are on the road this particular day; or are there always that many driving about town and I just never noticed before?

Turn the page.

I have a date and need to get ready. I begin pondering the usual things that go through a girl's mind as she prepares for a date and then I stop for a moment and say to myself, "Sometimes a girl just wants to know a guy is going to be around long enough to open her pickle jar."